© 2003-06 by Tom Daly Free 5-part report Lesson No. 3: Finding the light switch in your classroom   Okay, enough about what doesn't work!  Let's talk about what does work. So what’s the missing piece?   What's the hugely important secret that spells the difference between success and failure for ADHD kids? Think about it: You and I are here today as good, responsible adults not because someone gave us a reward for being good, but because someone made some real connections with us. If that seems too simple, you’re missing a huge opportunity to literally transform your students' lives for the better.  Like the man who searched all over the world for precious diamonds only to come home and discover acres of diamonds buried in his own back yard, you already have everything you need to create a peaceful, productive classroom. It won’t cost you a cent.  You can develop it any time you want.  And you can use it to improve every aspect of your classroom. It’s the secret reason that’s hardly a secret at all.  And yet millions of teachers right now are looking into expensive solutions, reading complicated theory, and educating themselves about addictive drugs because so many parents give them to their kids to fix what in many cases involves the universal need for human connection. (Note for skeptics: Even if I were wrong about this, wouldn’t it make sense to at least try to forge a better connection with your problem student to see what happens?) You have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain by applying what I'm about to tell you. The only side effects to connecting with your ADHD students are positive ones.  Connecting with your students is like flipping a light switch.  Have you ever noticed there is no such thing as a dark switch?  There is only a light switch.  Connecting with your child is the same thing.  The only way to prevent light is to resist flipping the switch.   You have the same power to connect with your ADHD students. So . . . how do you make this all-important  connection with these students? The answer is found in the following question: You reside “in” your students' world, but do you really know your students' world? I’m not talking about reading their thoughts.  I’m referring to having a good understanding of what makes your few problem students tick.   Do you know exactly who revolves in their daily orbit?  Do you understand their chief concerns?  Are you aware of their secret likes and dislikes?  Does each one have a secret passion that he doesn’t share with anyone else? I'm not talking about finding out about every little detail of every student in your class.  No teacher has time for that. But I am talking about getting a foothold into the minds and hearts of the few kids in your class that cause you real problems.  (I'll show you how to do that in just a minute.) Understanding your students' world not only strengthens the teacher-pupil relationship; it can become the absolute difference between their success and failure.   Again, you didn’t become the person you are now all by yourself.  You made significant connections with adults, mentors, teachers, and authority figures.   You now have the perfect opportunity  to become that for someone else. Let's face it, if your students don't receive those same close connections with adults they like and trust, they will drift through school aimlessly.  They won't see the point to doing your assignments, and they won't have much motivation to behave or listen to you. As I’ve already pointed out elsewhere on this website, your disruptive students don’t misbehave because they have some secret ambition to drive you bananas.   It’s not like ADHD children are thinking, “I think I’ll sit here and tap my pencil loudly a thousand times so that I can drive my teacher crazy.”   It’s not like they bring a checklist to school that says, “Okay, so today at 8:25, I’m going to blurt out 21 times in class. Then, at 9:40, I’m going get out of my seat eight times --- and I must remember to slam my books on my desk at least two times an hour.”   That’s not the case, of course.  Students are doing these annoying behaviors without any premeditation because they lack control. But that doesn't mean there's no rhyme or reason to these behaviors.  In reality, these students are sending you a message in code --- and usually that code translates into two words: “Reach me!” I teach this in my seminars all the time.  Once teachers are shown how to truly reach their problem students, the misbehavior disappears without threats or ineffective bribes. Here are 3 ways can you forge a better connection with your child starting almost instantly ...   While I don’t have room in this 5-part report to detail all the numerous strategies I have been successfully presenting for years, here are three things you can do right now to begin the process. ______________________ 1.  “Walk and Talk” with your ADHD students as many times as you can Even if it’s only for five minutes at a time for a couple times a day, I recommend spening a little time each week walking and talking with your students about anything at all.  I’m talking about completely casual walks in which there is no authoritative agenda hanging over the conversation whatsoever.   You see, when students go on walks, they act differently than they would in a class situation. The dynamic is completely different. They open up and divulge more. Your student will unwittingly tell you how to hook him into your class activities. He'll literally tell you why he misbehaves. But be careful --- do not overtly TRY to glean info from your students during these walks. I cannot emphasize enough how valuable it is to listen to or talk with problem students without an audience to egg them on. You are no longer in an adversarial position, and the student has nothing to gain by acting out.  Warning — This is a simple-stupid technique that is so ridiculously easy that its brilliance might escape you.   That’s okay.  Just know that this one technique is so beautiful that it's like fishing in a lake where the fish literally jump into your boat.  I’m not kidding — when practiced correctly and diligently, this single idea will yield profoundly positive results you can’t even imagine!  Do not dismiss it because it seems too simple.  ______________________ 2.  Find ways to get your students to follow your directions quickly and quietly, the first time given.   I realize that’s easier said than done, which is why I devote an entire section of my book to showing teachers how to do exactly that.   Doing this will eliminate headaches, prevent battles, and make your job a lot more enjoyable. I’m also here to tell you it’s not only doable, but it might very well determine your student’s entire future!  That may sound like a dramatic exaggeration, but it’s not, and here’s why:  Nowadays, you see kids all the time not following directions.  Not listening to your parents and teachers has become the normal thing to do. Just sit at a mall or any place families gather and you will see what I mean. When you give your student a direction and the child does not comply right away, you are basically setting up that kid for a lifetime of failure.    Why do I say that?  It’s because if that child does not follow your directions in class, then he will most likely not follow directions anywhere else, or with any other authority figure.   This can make all the difference in the world, because if your ADHD student is to succeed in life he needs to: 1.  Be more likeable. 2.  Respect and appreciate authority figures.  In other words, your ADHD kids need to like authority figures, and they need to be liked by authority figures.  Every single successful child has these two traits in common. This is crucial.  Here’s how life will work for this kid . . .  As he begins to follow directions quickly and quietly the first time given, he will become more likeable to authority figures.   Those adults, in turn, will look for ways to promote him every step of the way.  That’s just the way it works.  It’s human nature.   The bottom line is, when you teach your students to follow directions quickly and quietly the first time you ask, you’re not just eliminating power struggles and tantrums, but you’re also setting them up for a lifetime of success. ______________________ 3.  Get closer to your ADHD students --- even if you are afraid to or don't feel like it. No matter what your student's behavior is communicating, physical proximity can work wonders in solving it. Let me give you an example . . . One time I showed an educational movie in class, and I decided to sit between my two most severe ADHD students.  I simply sat between them.   Now, I'll be honest with you.  These two kids were no bundles of joy.  They were quite a handful.  There were some days when I didn't even want to be in the same ZIP code as these kids, let alone sitting next to them in the same classroom! But I knew I had to try something different.  I knew I was better off playing into my strength as teacher rather than giving into my fears in dealing with these kids. So I sat between them.  There was nothing threatening or imposing about it.  It was very relaxed.  I just pulled up a chair.  But there I was, quietly sitting between them as we watched the movie.   And everyone watched that movie and followed along without incident, including those two kids.   My physical presence sitting between them made all the difference.   The key is to act but not react.   That’s part of the mental shift we have to make.  If the child knows with certainty that you will react in a certain dramatic way if he acts out, then who’s really in charge of the class?  The student is!  And do you think the other students know that? Absolutely! Here’s another way to look at it . . .  Question: What do you get when you place a 13-year-old ADHD child with a teacher who has seven years’ teaching experience?   Answer: A child who has six more years of experience at being ADHD than the teacher has in dealing with this sort of behavior!   That child is experienced, and the teacher might not be, so the student is going to play the teacher for all he can.   But if the teacher can act instead of react, he’ll never get the chance.  Ninety-five percent of your success in managing ADHD children has to do with what comes before a problem manifests itself.   If you properly set the table, your ADHD student will never feel the need to disrupt the class. Getting closer to your students will help you do just that. Now that I’ve spelled out: what works and what doesn’t                 the one crucial factor between success and failure for your students what you need to do to prevent behavior problems and make your job easier . . .  let’s get to the one thing that MUST happen if any of the information in these lessons is to work for you.   (Because that’s all that really matters, right?) To find out if the information in this report will work for you, go to Part 4. Take me to Part 4.