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Do you know what really changes the lives of your students?
It’s not their textbooks.
It’s not a particular teaching philosophy.
It’s not their activities, clubs or sports teams.
It’s not great facilities and a state-of-the-art computer lab.
It’s not even you, the teacher. (Sorry about that! No offense – you’ll see what I’m up to in a second.)
What really changes the lives of kids is their relationships.
Let me put it another way . . .
Research has shown that students are not motivated by concepts or programs.
They’re motivated by people.
This is something you already know, of course. I’m sure you can think back on a particular teacher who had a big impact on your life. Was it really the actual lessons that teacher passed along . . . or was it just as much about who that teacher was to you?
It’s all about the relationship you have with your students, and before you think you’ve heard all this before, let me assure you that I’m about to get ultra-specific with this in a way you’ve never heard before.
I’d also like to point out that by “relationship” I mean something entirely appropriate. I’m not talking about any type of relationship that would compromise proper boundaries, and I’m not talking about any loosey goosey “friendship” in which the line between teacher and student is unacceptably blurred.
The Power of Relationships
When you become a likeable figure who also commands respect with your students, you’re able to build rapport that motivates kids to do their best.
When you make it clear to your students that you respect them, and that you’re happy to see them, it instantly builds a relationship that makes everything you do easier.
That’s why I believe one of the biggest keys to effective teaching begins with something I call the “Welcoming Factor.”
What is the ‘Welcoming Factor’?
The Welcoming Factor is a measure how well you are able to make a child feel welcome and valued in your class. It can be used to show any student that you value your time and theirs.
It’s all about connection.
When you connect with a problematic student, you begin taking away his motivation to disrupt your class and ruin your life. It's just human nature. A child (or anyone else for that matter) won't continue antagonizing you if you simply "drop the rope" and instead reach out in an unconditional, non-judgmental way.
When you make an effort to bond with children, they'll eventually find something to like in you, and their motivation to cause problems will simply fade away.
So here's an easy way to begin that process that is fun and takes no time at all . . .
The 3H Rule
It’s called the "The 3H Rule."
Here's how it works.
When a child enters your classroom, they are aware that they will choose to greet you in one of three ways:
1. A handshake.
2. A high-five.
3. A hug.
(These are the 3Hs for elementary school students. As you'll see in a minute, I recommend replacing the hug with something else for middle school and high school classrooms.)
Here's why this idea works so well . . .
- You will get an immediate read on the overall class mood of the day, as well as identify the kid or two who may be struggling. You can adjust your lesson plan accordingly.
- It gives kids a chance to say something to the teacher, even if it is just "Hi" or a quick one-liner.
- It instantly establishes connection and engagement.
- It may meet the needs of a kid who had major problems at home the previous night. Perhaps the child was in a big family argument and didn't get much sleep. Your hug, handshake or high-five might restore that child more than you know.
- It gives kids the distinct feeling that you are glad to be there and glad they are there too. It feels very accepting.
- You can catch rule violators before they create problems. For instance, if iPods are not allowed or hats are okay in the hallway but not in the classroom, you can do a gentle reminder as they enter.
- Administrators love it when teachers greet their kids at the doorway, since it increases hallway supervision.
- It reminds you that no matter what shape your lesson plan is in, it's the kids themselves who are the most important thing of all, and you will not be caught with your back to the kids as they enter and you struggle to complete your lesson plan.
- Because you're giving the kids a choice of greeting, they feel more in control of their life. That alone could help settle them down.
- It shows your acceptance better than any amount of words could. It tells them, "I'm glad that you’re here."
- It shows them affection. ("I'm not afraid to touch you.")
Adapting This for All Grade Levels
Speaking of showing affection and touching your students, let's talk about how this can work for middle and high school classrooms . . .
In grades K-2, there is generally not a concern of students hugging their teachers. Also, since 87% of elementary school teachers are female, there is seldom a concern over elementary students initiating a hug to their female teachers.
So I think that The 3H Rule could work for most female elementary school teachers, using the third H as the option for the child to hug the teacher.
At the middle school and high school level, and for all teachers uncomfortable with hugging students, I would substitute the hug option with a different H word that is more age-appropriate.
This modification is important since the kids are older and we do not want to send any "mixed messages" to the kids, parents or school staff. So for middle school and high school, I would eliminate the H for hug and give a different option for the third H.
Maybe that third H is just saying "Hello, Ms. Wigglesworth," which gives these older students a non-physical option. So, now they can handshake, high five or simple saying, "Hello, Ms. Wigglesworth."
If you have a silly class or want a silly fourth H, you can add something like "H for happy dance" as they enter, or "H for happy face."
The "Sideways" Hug
Okay, let's get back to the hugging issue for older kids. If you’ve seen my DVD video, I actually demonstrate how to give a sideways hug to a student versus using the traditional, frontal hug.
In that video, I explained that there were times when an older student would run up and give me an unexpected hug, and I would turn my hip at the last moment and avoid the frontal hug, thus creating a sideways-arm-around-the-shoulder hug.
This way, the child still felt accepted but I was able to deflect the frontal hug into something more appropriate. I also like to make a lighthearted joke while performing the sideways hug. I tell them, "This is how you hug, so Mr.. Daly does not get arrested! This is how to hug a high school teacher."
It always gets a laugh, and it also turns the hug into a lesson on learning boundaries.
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Important Note: The DVD mentioned above is a full-length, 80-minute video that is one of my recommended resources.
This DVD contains additional strategies and demonstrations not found in this report series.
You can get the video for free by ordering my book, "How To Turn Any Disruptive Child Into Your Best Student."
For more details, click here. |
So the 3H Rule is just one way to connect with your students.
Don’t discount the power of simple ideas like the 3H Rule.
Here is an email I received from a teacher who put the 3H Rule to work in her classroom:
| Hi Tom,
Krystine from Australia here. I have just taken over a grade 2 class this Term which had received the label as being the worst class in the school.
As I had been working through your book and DVD since early this year I carefully selected a few strategies to implement within the room right from the get go...positive comment book, class thermometer, Walk And Talk... and I love the questions "Why would you say that?"
Wow, how great do they work.The class has really begun to turn around and start to own their behaviour.
Anyway, I read about the 3 H Rule earlier this week and implemented it the next day.
My children embraced it whole heartedly and, as usual, you were right --- the information I picked up from that process was so eye-opening.
I also wanted to let you know that it assisted me in gaining positive comments from parents. The canteen which is run by volunteers (parents of the school) has a view of my classroom from its windows.
They watched with amazement as I greeted each child and the majority were hugging me. One parent even wiped a tear from their eye as they were so happy that a loving caring environment was being maintained at the school.
Today a cheeky teacher even joined in to receive their cuddle!!!!!!
Talk more soon,
Cheers, Krystine |
As you can see, everyone from the kids, parents, volunteers, other teachers, and of course Krystine herself received tremendous benefit from this simple little idea.
Put it to good use in your classroom today and begin enjoying the benefits of connecting with your students.
Here's Another Terrific Idea
That Builds Relationships
Here is another idea that not only builds relationships between students, but also improves the reading ability of your struggling students.
It’s called “Peer Tutoring.” It’s also known as “Cross-Age Tutoring” or “Reading Buddies,” and it’s one of the most simple and powerful ideas you can implement in your classroom.
Simply put, Peer Tutoring combines kids of different grade levels once a week for individual reading help.
Peer Tutoring or "Reading Buddies"
Here’s how it works: You “buddy up” kids from different grades (two to four grade levels apart is best) for a weekly reading session where each child takes turns helping the other child read.
This works great! When you see the faces of these kids leaving your classroom after one of these reading sessions, you’ll remember exactly why you got into teaching in the first place.
Here is the rationale for creating
this in your classroom:
 The ability to read is obviously the cornerstone of so much learning.
It’s fun for both kids.
It reduces bullying because it creates friendships across grade levels.
It takes your struggling older students “from heel to hero” because all of a sudden the older student feels more confident after being able to help a younger child.
I highly recommend peer tutoring to create a perfect classroom!
More Details About Peer Tutoring . . .
If you would like more specifics on how to effectively implement peer tutoring in your classroom, you should grab a copy of my 80-minute DVD video, "7 Days to a Perfect Classroom."
This DVD contains new information not found in this report.
And right now, I'm giving the video away for free if you order my book, "How To Turn Any Disruptive Child Into Your Best Student." That book contains the foundation of everything I teach to educators.
To order the book with the free video, or just to hear more details, click here.
Here are some questions about peer tutoring that are answered on the video:
How do I execute this strategy, exactly?
How long should these kids be reading together?
Why is it helpful to get the librarian involved?
How do I pick the right teacher to team up with on this?
Can I use this activity to help with other aspects of my class?
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Recommended Resource: 7 Days to
a Perfect Classroom - the DVD
To get the answers to the above questions on peer tutoring, grab your copy of my video while I am offering it free as part of my special package.
For more details on the DVD special, click below: Click here DVD Special Offer
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Copyright © 2008 by Tom Daly / Smarty Pants Publications
All rights reserved | 